No matter how much ever people tell you that you're overreacting or it's just a phase... its always hard to be in a long distance relationship. Knowing that you have to wake up to a whole lot of days that particular week and not be able to see that person's face. It's hard! Like damn hard. And not in a sappy way where you say you miss the person's eyes and all that sad crap..no!
Wait..actually...that
too!
The point is, you
miss the action. The touch, the kiss, the butterflies in your stomach and
having the feeling of time being completely stopped when both of you are together, being in our
own bubble. All that, I really miss. We had our own spot in college by the
steps next to the admissions office, where we'd meet up at night and just have
our moments there. Lately it's been difficult to get past those stairs and not have
him on my mind. It's gone to a point where I just get just a teeny-tiny bit
upset seeing other couples. Upset because maybe this is what they'll have to
look forward to as well.
We've had our ups and
downs from the beginning, but we made sure that we'd always find our way back
to each other. No matter how bad the situation was, even if I was bunched up
with my ego, he'd always find ways to set things right. We'd talk all night
long, and make sure to be 'Love-y dove-y' the next time we met.
Yeah.. we were one
of those...
But, ever since he
moved to a different city for his post-graduate degree, I miss him like crazy.
We used to call every day, and talk about the most random-est things, all the
way up until we thought it was time to hang up and go to sleep. He'd always make
me feel like I was a part of his world, like he needed me. He'd tell me about
his day and everyone he met, everywhere he went... almost like I was his secret
little diary. Initially I thought there wasn't any need for that, but then I started
to open up too. We began talking about everything that crossed our paths that
entire day, and before I even realized, I'd gotten used to it.
Now.. with him away in a different city, things have changed..'sliiiiiightly'?
I dont know.. 'more than I thought'?
Let's go with 'things have changed'.
I've begun to feel
the need to fight for his attention. I mean he's just a phone call away and
all, but I can't help but have this heavy feeling on my chest, this stupid
feeling, that he might just not need me anymore. Like, he doesn't need his
little diary anymore. Like, I might lose my person, because he doesn't know that he was also my
human diary. He's got his life there now. He's busy on the weekdays with his
workload, and is out with his friends on the weekends to blow off some steam
from all the pressure. He makes genuine effort to videocall me on most days,
and I love him for that, but I can see how tired he is and how much he's trying
from his end to make this work.
This distance
between us really gets on my nerve most days..and I almost always, try my best
not to think about it. Not having any reason to get myself all dressed and
pretty for him is something I miss these days. Having no one to share food with
because I don't eat much. Having no one to buy me bakery goods when I get
random cravings. Having no one to explain movies to me like explaining it to a
child! Paavam..that guy had so much to deal with, alle?
I miss him.
I'm sure that all
this that I'm feeling right now will totally be worth it when we do meet up. He's my man
and nothing changes that. Like every other problems we've faced...I'm hoping
that this too would be something that we can easily get by.
'Cause me and him..we're a 'forever thing'.
