Silent Applause

Married at 19. Shipped off to an entire new country before 20. Mother of two by 23. Burdened with household work since. Took care of her husband every single day and sacrificed every waking hour to nurture her young. Watched her friends get higher with their career-life, while pushing her dreams further down. Was obviously showered with gifts and love, but never asked for what she wanted. Thought of trying to get into something new, so she studied hard and finally became a teacher. But that too didnt last long since her own littlest one wanted his mother.

I always wondered what she'd be doing at home all day once my dad, my brother and I left..

So one day, when i stayed home since i was down with the flu, I had my question answered. After my dad and my brother left, she'd clear their plates and the rest of the table, grab herself a cup of tea and while away 2 hours in our 4th floor apartment balcony.

She'd watch the vehicles passing by, people walking determinedly towards their place of work, children waiting for their school buses. Basically watching everyone get on with their lives. She'd calmly rest her cheeks on the warm railing and close her eyes. It almost looked like she was wondering what lies ahead for her.

Fast forward to 20 years later.

My father who started as a sales manager, now a big shot marketing director, my brother who's now getting his undergraduate degree in business management and I, a fine and fresh dentist, can't help but wonder how lucky we are that we had that beautiful woman from the balcony in our lives.

She gave up her youth to take care of us all. When most ladies in their mid 20s went to work all day, my mother took care of our day to day needs. When most women posted facts their lives in the social media, my mother was one of those who would be sitting at the table with her kids on either sides, helping them do their homework.

She cooked, she cleaned, she was an amazing wife and a perfect mom. She was there when we came back from school and would listen to our stories about our day, while settling us down into our home clothes. She'd have prepared something incredibly yummy for lunch, and we'd know this because the entire house would have a delicious aroma in the air.

I'm pretty sure that the woman in the balcony would be proud if she knew that she would have the most amazing experience that life has to offer. She'd have two children who adores her and a husband who loves her unconditionally. 

When ladies her age now complain about not being able to have a little bit of 'me-time' because of having to take care of their kids, my mother and I hang out at a local cafe and talk about boys and cute dresses. When ladies her age stay at home teaching their children through school work, my mother had enough time in her hands to start her own boutique. 

Both of her kids have flown off her nest and I know for a fact that no matter whichever direction we fly to, she'd soar higher up to always have our backs.

When I look at my mother's hands today, I wish I could say that I see the same 19 year old's hands. But that would be impossible. What I do see, is the hand of a woman who gave up her youth, her desire, her wishes and her dreams to take care of our small family. Her wrinkles remind me of the prayers she said during our time of need, her burn marks remind me of the tasty meals she'd prepare for us and serve with a bandaged finger, and her palm reminds me of those times that she had held my hand and given me strength.